How to Have Fun in Bed While Avoiding Sex in a Relationship

When you think of being intimate with your partner, you might automatically think of having sex. But if you’re abstaining from sex, either for now or until marriage, going all the way might not be an option for you. Fortunately, there are many different ways you can increase your intimacy with your partner without ever having sex. For fun, flirty ways to feel connected with your significant other, keep reading!

How to Be Intimate without Intercourse

Cuddle and touch each other in non-sexual ways.
Give your partner a full-body massage.
Make out or kiss other parts of your partner’s body.
Have sexy photoshoot.
Play a game, read, or watch something together.

Hold hands, hug, or sit close to each other in bed. Enjoy touching and being close to one another without it having to go any further than that.

When you go to sleep, cuddle with your partner to feel closer together.

Kiss each other in different ways. Kiss each other, taking time to explore different ways of kissing. If you aren’t sure what to try next, have your partner name their favorite and try it out! You could try a French kiss, a lizard kiss, or even a Spiderman kiss.

Don’t take yourselves too seriously. Laugh when the kisses feel awkward! You’re building intimacy by experimenting with what works and doesn’t work.

Give each other full-body massages to relax and unwind. Using a scented oil or lotion, take turns massaging each other’s bodies. How much of each other’s bodies you massage depends on your boundaries: you can just massage one another’s necks and backs if you aren’t ready to go further than that.

Set the mood by lighting a few candles and playing relaxing music.
You don’t have to be a professional masseuse to make your partner feel great. Check in with them often by asking, “How does that feel?” or, “Where do you want me to massage next?”

Make out, but with rules. Setting rules will not only help you stick to your boundaries, but it will also make things extra sexy. Maybe neither one of you can remove an item of clothing, or you can’t touch each other above the waist. Set rules that both you and your partner are comfortable with, then have fun.

Feel free to take a breather if things are getting too hot and heavy. Say something like, “Sorry, I just need a minute,” while you catch your breath.

Touch and kiss the areas of your partner’s body that don’t usually get attention during sex, like their legs, stomach, or back.Take time to enjoy exploring your partner’s body, and build a physical intimacy with your partner that doesn’t depend on sexual intercourse.

If you’re worried about taking your partner’s clothes off, kiss the parts of their body that you can see when they’re still wearing clothing, like their neck, cheek, or hands.

You can do this to varying degrees. For example, you might agree not to touch each other, and then sit across from each other and slowly undress.

To take it up a notch, you could sit across from each other and touch yourselves, with the rule that you are not allowed to touch each other

This is a fun way for you and your partner to explore one another’s bodies without touching each other. Doing this allows you to slow down and appreciate every detail of your partner’s body.

Make this even more exciting by setting up a still life scene and asking your partner to model in it. They can keep some of their clothes on, or they can undress all the way.

Do a sexy boudoir photo shoot. Take photos of each other looking sexy in bed. You can make this as silly or as sexy as you want. Do an online search of “80s glamor shots” for inspiration.

Try a funny, light-hearted photoshoot by wearing a fancy dress or suit and a feather boa. Make silly faces while posing on top of the bed.
If you have cats, incorporate them into the photo for added hilariousness.

Try phone sex when your partner is away. Make a date to have a sexy phone call or sexting session while you’re both in bed. This could range from flirting to sending sexy photos of each other, to having full on phone sex.

If you do send sexy photos to one another, exercise caution: anything you send to your partner could end up in someone else’s hands.
If you’re worried about someone else seeing you in a vulnerable position, either don’t take the photo or keep your face out of it.

You and your partner can be physically intimate without having sexual intercourse. If you’re comfortable making out but you’re not comfortable having sexual intercourse, then don’t have sexual intercourse. You don’t owe it to your partner.