How to Figure Out the Type of Person You Should Date

It can be difficult to narrow down your options, especially when online dating makes the dating market so large. If you feel overwhelmed and not sure where to start, think about what’s important to you, and what kinds of things you want to single out in a potential date. Think about what kind of person could be a good complement to your own life.

Do you want a casual date, a fling, or a long-term relationship? Knowing what you want from the start can help you narrow down potential partners more effectively and steer the relationship in the direction you want. If you’re not sure what you want, be honest with yourself in saying that, and be honest with any potential dates you have.

By knowing what kind of relationship you want, you can better understand the types of people available and what they are looking for as well.
Try looking back on any of your previous relationships for insight. Think about what did work, as well as what didn’t. That can help you understand what you’re looking for moving forward.
Reader Poll: We asked 674 wikiHow readers about what they wanted from their romantic life, and only 8% of people said they enjoyed periods of casual dating without building any lasting connections. [Take Poll] So if your ultimate goal is to move from casual to committed, you’re not alone there!

Sometimes it’s not about finding a “type”, it’s about finding a good fit. Find someone who is interested in you, asks questions about your life, and with whom you have a mutual curiosity about. If you go to a sports bar and your date’s more focused on the game than on you, this can set the tone for any future time you have together.

For example, be with someone who asks questions and seems interested in your answers. If someone only seems interested in talking about himself or herself, reconsider if you want to see this person again.

If you have strong religious, political, social, or spiritual values, you may want to find someone who shares these values with you. Your goal should never be to change anyone, so if you find that you are unable to cope with various differences, think about them from the onset.Define your values by writing them down. What do you value in your own life, and what values would you like to be shared in your date? How important are these values for you?

For example, if you value exploring different spiritual traditions, you may want a partner who also shares this value, and you may be put-off by someone who is very religious or not interested in spirituality. Then, you can know who to single in on when you’re ready to date.
Think about the type of chemistry you want with your partner. Write down physical chemistry, emotional chemistry, spiritual chemistry, and intellectual chemistry, and prioritize them from most to least important, and use that as a guideline whenever you meet someone new.

Think about how you want a potential date to fit into your current (or ideal) lifestyle. For example, if you like going to fancy restaurants, you may not want to date someone who is stingy or overly concerned with money. Likewise, if you love hiking, camping, and kayaking on the weekends, don’t date someone who despises the outdoors. If you enjoy your time off, you may not be compatible with someone who is a workaholic.Find someone who can appreciate and perhaps even participate in your lifestyle.

For example, if you have a dog, you may want someone who likes dogs. Trying to convert someone to like your dog when he or she doesn’t like dogs to begin with may be a frustrating and heartbreaking endeavor.

While some people define socially acceptable age limits for dating, it’s up to you to decide how old or young you feel comfortable dating.If you feel strongly about age differences, you may want to narrow down your potential daters to a certain age range that makes you feel comfortable. To some, age is just a number, while to others, it can make a huge difference in whether or not it’s worth dating.

When considering dating age, make sure you factor in maturity. Some younger dates may, in fact, be more mature than older dates.

Learn to be comfortable with yourself. Some people avoid dealing with themselves by escaping through drugs, alcohol, tv, food, video games, etc. Don’t spend your effort avoiding yourself and instead, embrace who you are. Spend time alone without any distractions. Reflect on how you view yourself or what kind of inner dialog you have with yourself. When you find that you’re comparing yourself to others, realize that you’re fine just the way you are.

If you struggle with comparing yourself to others or not feeling “good enough,” say to yourself, “Where I am at is okay.” You can also say, “My best is different than someone else’s best, and that is okay.”

Everyone has flaws and weaknesses, so don’t allow yours to hold you back. Sometimes things you consider to be a flaw will be things that make you unique or interesting, such as imperfections in your appearance. Other issues that you have with yourself might stem from old wounds in your past that you can work to overcome. Either way, you are worthy of love, so don’t hold yourself back from it.

When you find yourself thinking of a flaw or weakness, write a few positive affirmations that remind you that it won’t hold you back.
Remember, opposites attract, so what you see as a flaw in yourself might be the perfect balance for someone else’s personality.
For example, a person who is worried about a scar might write, “My scar is part of who I am and tells a story about my journey,” “My scar is beautiful because it allowed me to survive and keep living,” and “My scar is more apparent to me; others won’t notice my scar as much because they are more focused on what they like about me.”

Some people lose themselves when they start to date someone new and are unsure of their own preferences. It’s important to know yourself and your preferences before you include someone new into your life. If you want to share interests with someone else, know your interests first.

If you don’t know your likes and interests, start doing some exploration. Ask yourself if there’s something you’ve always wanted to do. Try activities you’ve never tried before, like traveling or painting. Find out what ignites you.
Develop your preferences by trying new things and having different experiences. Explore different cuisines, figure out if you like to take risks, and see how it feels to try something that makes you scared. Do something outside of your comfort zone and see how it feels.